Selfishness – One of Its Functions & Pleasures

Selfishness

Selfishness is really a multi-faceted defect, and so this blog post is only going to concentrate on one of its facets, and this facet centres around one observation and this observation is that selfishness tends to increase when some hardship with other people is experienced.

Why?

This is quite easy to answer because selfishness is a mechanism of self-protection. It knows that being alone we are safe and no one can hurt us. Being with others we know that the danger is there, that we could get hurt once again while being in the presence of others, so naturally and logically we seek isolation.

Selfishness then is a mechanism of compensation, it promises pleasure, projecting ideas of us being alone doing something that we can only really do alone and of course we are there enjoying it immensely. We project ideas of going for a long walk along the beach, reading as much as we like, meditating somewhere peaceful, watching movies, etc. etc.

Animal in Nature

Well true many animals exhibit this kind of behaviour when they are hurt they isolate themselves until they are better, they do it as a means of self-protection.

Pleasure

The pleasure aspect of selfishness is the big part. If there were no selfishness involved then there would be no selfish behaviour. The main reason why we obey the ideas and projections of selfishness is because it promises us immense pleasure and enjoyment.

Conclusion

We may revel in the pleasure of selfishness but from experience that pleasure soon turns bitter because it may not be something we deserve and we end up hurting others or neglecting that which should not be neglected. We usually go out of balance when we dive into the pleasure of selfishness and being out of balance of brings pain in the moments when we have to regain our balance. Think about it and try it out for yourself, see if it is true in your experience.

End.

Self-Compassion is an Inner Mechanism of Compensation for When we Fail

Introduction

This is a very strange assertion: to say that self-compassion is an inner mechanism of compensation for when we fail. The aim of this post is to make this statement a lot more understandable and ultimately real to you.

Compassion of a very ordinary mechanical type is brought forth in people when we see that others are suffering, undergoing a difficult time or have failed in something or rather, and or are worse off than ourselves. So self-compassion is ourselves giving that to ourselves, but in the wrong way, where we just end up getting stuck, not getting up (and trying again) and feeling worse and worse about ourselves, others, our situation and the world.

An Inner Mechanism of Compensation?

Self-compassion is really a compensation for when we fail in life, or in any endeavour that we undertake, whether it be something in our human life or something in our spiritual life.

When we fail we need something to console us and to commiserate our failure, and we have just that element inside of ourselves, and that element is what we call self-compassion. It is a psychological characteristic or ‘I’ (ego, one of the many that we have) that feels sorry for ourselves and says things like, I’m a failure, I’m doing nothing in life, I’m going nowhere, I’m not going to make it. We feel that we can’t achieve, that we can’t get to where we want to go.

 Self-compassion seeks others that are sympathetic to its failure and join us in our lamentations about having failed. It doesn’t like people who say: “get up and try again” and or “stop feeling sorry for yourself and just do it”. This is because it wants to compensate for its failure by giving itself compassion, recovery time, rest, feel good movies, feel good comfort food, lamentations, regrets, going over and over the reasons why we failed, blaming others etc. etc.

A Debt with Ourselves

When we don’t do all that we can, in other words when we don’t give our best we create a debt with ourselves. Or when we have an expectation of ourself, we create a debt with ourselves when we fail. And to compensate for that debt or to pay that debt we have the psychological element called self-compassion that trues to cancel that debt by giving ourselves compassion of a negative type, justifying the failure saying that wea re useless and good for nothing.

The Right Kind of Self-Compassion

If we were to say to people don’t have compassion with yourself, a lot of people would protest. We actually want to say don’t have the negative type of self-compassion with yourself. Definitely don’t indulge in that and go ahead and eliminate it, already.

You can have the positive self-compassion which recognises that we failed and impulses us to get up immediately and learn about where we failed, and try again correcting our path that lead to our failure. Get up, repent, repair and go again until you triumph, that is the real self-compassion because that is what brings you hope, makes you authentically feel better and leads you to triumph which is entirely in your benefit. The other negative type of self-compassion leads you in a hole that you dig deeper and deeper every minute that you don’t get out of it.

Conclusion

So I really hope that we have made this topic of self-compassion a lot clearer and that you may find it useful for when you feel self-compassion to be able to understand that when we feel this way, we are only trying to balance our failure and we don’t need self-compassion to do that for us we can do it by trying again, getting up and going again!

End.

Lust is About Imbalance

Introduction

This is a very strange assertion: to say that lust is about an imbalance. The aim of this post is to make this statement much more understandable.

How is Lust an Imbalance?

Due to desire a need is born inside of us, and this need pushes us from inside to go and balance this desire with fulfilment or satisfaction.

Lust looks to make its desire a reality, or in other words it tries in its first attempt to find someone to satisfy or satiate its desire. Lust has the in-built need to balance its desires with real sensations or anything else that bring some satisfaction and therefore balance.

Desire Equals Imbalance

Somewhere within us there is a scale and on one side there is the desire weighing heavily and on the other side there is nothing there but an empty plate. This empty plate creates an imbalance, and as it is a law of nature to always seek a state of balance or equilibrium, the human being in this situation looks for a way to add something to the empty side of the scale so to balance the heavier side.

When we have some sort of desire we automatically imbalance the magic scale that we have inside of ourselves. If there is no desire unbalancing our scale there is no lustful action or action of compensation which in general is what the ego is.

How Does Lust Try to Balance its Desires?

Lust first of all looks to action to balance its desires. It tries to find physical satisfaction that according to the nature of lust (sexuality trapped in matter and the senses) does this using another person. If it can not do this with another person it goes into fantasy, and with fantasy the desire is fulfilled. Fantasy is nothing other than a mechanism of compensation, we act out with our fantasy what we can not do physically.

The truth or the revelation that Gnosis or an any system of in-depth esoteric self-knowledge provides us with, is that we have to learn not to depend on others to balance our inner urges and desires. One clear reason is because we can’t rely on others, they are not always there, or they are uncooperative and if we force them to comply we are doing something very wrong. So in essence, we have to learn how to balance our desires ourself and by ourselves.

How can we Balance the Natural Sexual Appetite without Lust?

We have the transmutation for that and the act of internal self-remembering. Transmuting our sexual energy transforms that desire into will, dignity, energy and well-being. When we transmute, the desire dissipates, the desire is not satisfied but rather transformed.

When the desire is transformed the heavy weight weighing down one side of our internal scale is removed and then our internal scale naturally balances itself. So that is the trick.

If lust wants attention from another person in order to get some sensation then we are once again unbalanced and we have to balance ourselves once again to arrive at peace.

The trick here is to give that attention to ourselves, that is to our own sexual energy or sexuality. That is to give it attention with conscious love, which is an attention that does not corrupt and does not cause the person to fall into vice. In other words to appreciate your sexual energy, to accept it, to care for it, and to transmute it enjoying how it enhances our inner Being. This is self-remembering; to recognise the great divine power that there is in sexuality and in our sexual energy.

Conclusion

When we experience sexual desire we end up getting unbalanced, and when we also feed that desire through impressions, fantasy and thoughts we get even further unbalanced. So like many other egos lust is a way of bringing balance to this imbalance that we create inside of ourselves. The key is understand this and then to go about balancing this ourselves by ourselves without lust and with or without another human being, either way (with or without another) it is done and can be done without lust. This is best and this will show you that you don’t need lust to manage your sexuality and you can take steps to eliminate it.

End.

Visual Depiction of the Way the Ego Dies

Introduction

We can see how our work on an ego is going through our dreams or internal experiences. This is very helpful and it should ratify or confirm what we are experiencing here physically.

Decreasing in Size

We may the ego that we are working on one day as being very strong and large and after some time we may see it as smaller and weaker. This is a clear sign that it is weakening and dying.

Dying

We may see an ego taking a human form and after we have worked on it we can see it as person who is weak and sick or even a person who has parts of his or her body gangrene, frostbitten or dead. This is also a very clear sign that eh ego we are working on is dying.

Becoming a Child

When we work on an ego we may see it as being very adult, nasty, astute and malignant. Later after some time and work we may see the same ego but this time having the appearance of a child and that the nastiness and ugliness that that ego had before is gone. This is also a clear indication that this ego is dying. Soon it will be like a baby and then it will disappear.

Injured

Furthermore we may even see an ego we are working o has having a large injury and because of that injury it is debilitated and weak. In this case our Divine Mother has hit it and it is up to us to maintain the injured state of this ego, we have to continue to work on it. If we do it will die.

Conclusion

All the experiences listed above are clear signs that if one see them, one can use to know that one is dying in a particular ego or defect. These signs though are only valid if they corroborate what we are experiencing here physically. That is for example, if the ego seems to be weaker here physically and we then see one of the signs listed above we can be sure that this ego is really dying in us. If not, i.e. the ego is just as strong here physically as it has always been then something is not quite right and we have to work and wait to be able to come to a solid conclusion about how the death of that ego is really going.

End.

Transmutation is a Sacrifice (Dissolution of Lust)

Introduction

Transmutation is really a sacrifice, but it is one that is very rewarding and much more beneficial to one’s: health, ethics and morale.

Anyone who Transmutes will Know

Anyone who has seriously tried to transmute would have understood that it is really a sacrifice and that it is not so easy to transmute and at times it requires a great effort on our part to defeat its opposite and genuinely transmute.

Stop: What is Transmutation?

For those new to the term of transmutation, it in Gnosis means the transformation of the sexual energy. Where the sexual energy (seminal entity) is not lost or expelled from the body, but transformed from its semi solid semi liquid state into energy that is moved through the body to certain principal organs where it is absorbed energising and enlightening those organs.

Why is it a Sacrifice?

Why transmutation is a sacrifice can be understood through this I think, very common human experience. As we eat, breathe and think our body manufactures sexual energy and deposits it into the sexual receptacles commonly called in the male body, testicles and the ovaries in the feminie body. As hours and minutes pass the sexual energy that is manufactured by the body accumulates, and because the nature of the sexual energy is dynamic and volatile, the person begins to feel impulses of a sexual kind (if the sexual energy was not so volatile these impulses probably would not be felt).

These impulses are essentially indications of the body and the sexual energy itself to the person’s mind and consciousness that something needs to be done with the sexual energy otherwise too much will accumulate and it will overflow. This overflowing of the sexual energy can take on several different manifestations, one typical one is ‘wet dreams’, other ones maybe be angry outbursts, acts of aggression, movie watching as if in a deep trance or licentious behaviour.

So when these impulses are felt they are accompanied by certain emotions and expectations or projections of pleasure, and the easy and natural tendency is to find someone of the opposite sex and simply follow the line of least effort which is to follow the current of physical pleasure that takes the person to experience pleasure that culminates with the loss of the sexual energy. Then the problem of the over accumulation of the sexual energy is solved. This is nature’s mechanical way of solving this problem. The ego of lust in this regard is an instrument of the mechanics of nature.

Mechanics of Nature

In fact mechanics require mechanical elements and such a mechanical element is the ego of lust, by dissolving lust we defeat a very powerful mechanism of nature. Nature uses this solution for its benefit which is to keep creation going and the Moon plays its role or influence in this mechanism as well, so the Moon is related to these mechanisms of nature.

The Feeling of Sacrifice in the Heat of the Moment

When a person is in the heat of this situation and the person knows about transmutation the person could feel the pull of the two forces, to transmute or to not transmute. The easier and more fun, pleasurable, interesting and exciting option maybe just to find someone to lose the sexual energy, and of course the more difficult, dry, boring and emotionally unsatisfying way is to transmute. Actually later on in this post I am going to explain that all these things are not true at all, and it happens that through bitter experience the opposite of what is written in the previous sentence is true, that is losing the sexual energy brings suffering and transmuting brings pleasure or satisfaction (pleasure and satisfaction of a physical, psychological and spiritual kind).

Transmutation is Much Easier!

The person in this state may make great efforts, risks and sacrifices to actually find the situation or circumstances to meet with a person of the opposite sex to copulate with. The person may expend a lot of resources: money, reputation, emotional well-being and energy just to copulate, which may last only a few minutes. The by far easier option is to transmute but in this hypnotised state is does not seem like it is the easier option, but it is really, just think about it rationally and logically.

It is so much easier to find five minutes and concentrate on the sexual organs and breathe in deeply imagining and willing the sexual energy to be transmuted and moved into the brain and heart. This is very much easier then chasing a person of the opposite sex, getting it wrong, being humiliated, rushing around, secret phone calls and emails, hiding, expending great amounts of intellectual, emotional and sexual energy, feeling nervous and anxious and losing the sexual energy, a very precious energy that is our spiritual life blood.

When ones transmutes one feels that one is doing the right thing for the planet, for their very own morale (committing adultery is very bad for one’s own morale) and for themselves and their inner spiritual parts. There is happiness and emotional, morale satisfaction.

The Price – Well Worth it Though!

To feel these positive, dignifying and edifying things costs a price and that price is sacrifice. That sacrifice is to sacrifice those feelings of projected pleasure, to deny or sacrifice those opportunities that nature provides to copulate or lose the sexual energy and even to sacrifice one’s false feelings of free will or freedom to find someone and copulate with that person. The real sacrifice maybe to sacrifice that false feeling of freedom and obey the inner Being and the principles of the esoteric work.

Sexual Energy – Whose Energy is it?

Well the truth is that we think the sexual energy is ours but it is not! It is given to us for our consciousness to use for the self-realisation or to fulfil the Parlock duty of the Being. We will be in the end accountable for how we have used this gift of the sexual energy. We carry this energy but it belongs to the Being, that is to our very own Being. We have to use it as He would want it to be used. That is obedience to our Being and that because of the state that we are in requires sacrifice. Later the feeling of sacrifice disappears as we dissolve the rebellious egos of lust and fornication.

Conclusion

Transmute! It is much easier and much more rewarding and it is the conscious way to go about the issue of our sexual energy! The other way is the painful and mechanical way.

End.

The Question of How to Die Mystically

A Conscious Work and a Science

Dying mystically is a matter of a conscious choice and conscious work. Nonetheless there is a science or a procedure involved.

The process of the death of an ‘I’ or a defect may vary between each individual, however that process even though it appears to be different passes through these five very broad stages.

An Exception

I would just like to say at this moment before we get too far into the topic of the five broad stages of mystical death, that in esotericism, there are always exceptions, and in the case of mystical death there are certainly exceptions. More will be covered regarding this later on in this post, see the section Kabbalistical Barks.

Five Broad Stages

The five broad stages through which one moves through when working for the death of an ego or ‘I’ are:

1.) Observation.

2.) Separation.

3.) Comprehension.

4.) Repentance.

5.) Elimination.

Note, Master Samael made these a little simpler, instead of five steps he gave three. He gave us: Observation, Comprehension and Elimination. Of course he was right, really comprehension is separation and repentance, so the steps of separation, comprehension and repentance really fall under comprehension. Why? Because separation, comprehension and repentance, are essentially all comprehension, but different (higher) octaves of comprehension.

Observation

This is the process of getting to know the ego or ‘I’ that you want to eliminate. The purpose of this type of observation is to come to comprehend and later eliminate the ego under study.

We have to come to know the environment the ego manifests in, the impressions that trigger it and of course what is crucial, is that we come to know its way of thinking.

We also have to come to know how this way of thinking influences the emotional and motor centres and we have to know this ego’s main arguments, justifications, logic, protests, likes, dislikes, expectations (should and should nots) etc.

Knowing the ego well leads us naturally to comprehension.

Separation

This is really the first step of comprehension because here is where we come to understand that what has been bothering us is really an ego, an ‘I’, a fragment of our psychology, a psychological person and overall something that is not us or not the whole of us anyway, but rather a visitor or conditioned fragment of our psychology that is triggered (externally or internally), and is strong and stubborn and stays in our human machine for a long time.

This is where we come to be able to separate that ego or ‘I’ from our mind, from our attention, from our human machine and from our main psychology.

We finally see that it is an ego and we are not that ego and other people are not to blame for our uncomfortable feelings but rather that ego is, and furthermore we sometime in the past created it. We essentially gain the understanding that allows us to start to not identify with that ego.

Comprehension

In this stage we come to understand the ego much more deeply. We understand its role and its function in our life, we come to see what it is used for in our life and what it has been created to do for us. We may even remember when and where we created it.

We may even be able to see that we don’t need it and that we can use the essence and the work to solve the situations that this ego in the past, has been used to solve.

We also come to know the logic of the ego, which is really the core of the ego. It is the sum of its concepts or it is main concept and reasoning. It is the logic or idea or concept or upon which it feels and acts the way it does. If we are able to prove the logic wrong honestly and sincerely inside ourselves we deliver the ego a huge blow.

Note: Logic of the Ego.

Please note, I will write very soon posts dedicated exclusively to the logic of the ego. Watch out for these posts in the near future.

Repentance

Repentance is where essentially we come to understand deeply that the ego is wrong, that it is not correct and that we can do better with the essence, the work and the Being or the parts of our Being. We also may feel sorry for the actions of this ego when we really come to understand that it is wrong.

A part of repentance is renunciation where we through comprehension see that the ego is not needed and that the things or values that the ego brings to us can be replaced by the essence and the Being. In renunciation we essentially renounce to the values (the feelings or things that we like) that the ego brings us.

Note: Values of the Ego

Please note, I have written some post on repentance and renunciation, however in the near future I will write posts dedicated to finding the values of the ego.

Elimination

This is a very important step, this is where really the ego is executed or finally made dead. The previous steps are marvellous in that they separate the ego from ourselves, allow us to control the ego completely, they give us triumph over the ego and they exile the ego from our psychology and from our human machine. But they do not destroy or dissolve the ego it remains alive and continues to bother us. The step of elimination is the final solution to the problem of the ego, this is where our particular Divine Mother destroys the ego and liberates the essence that is trapped inside it.

Then the essence that has been trapped returns to the body of free essence that we have and adds its light and wisdom to the wisdom and light of the already free essence. The interesting wisdom that is acquired from the newly freed essence is the wisdom of how that piece of essence got trapped in the ego.

Note: Divine Mother

Please note, if the matter of the Divine Mother is new to you please see some of my blog posts in the www.gnosticesotericstudyworkaids.blogspot.com.

Kabbalistical Barks

I would like to make a short digression here and explain a little what kabbalistical barks are. These barks or shells are egos that by the grace of our Divine Mother and the Divine Law are eliminated for us, or decapitated for us even when we have not passed through the previously listed five stages of eliminating an ego. They are called barks because the Divine Law and the Divine Mother extract the essence from them leaving only the shell or bark or outer skin of the ego. This bark decomposes in time.

This I want to stress can happen in a person but it is certainly not the norm. This favour is usually done for us when that ego is so strong and it is beyond our comprehension and it is harming us severely.

Summary

Here we have laid out the very basic structure of how to eliminate the ego. Master Samael wrote so much about it and the posts in this blogspot are dedicated to it. I sincerely hope that this has been of some use to you. If not please write to me using marianeptunus@gmail.com to tell me how to make it better. Thanks in advance if you do, do this.

End.

No Fear of Involution & Mystical Death

No Fear of the Involution

There may come a time in your work on the death of the ego where you may feel that you have lost the fear of involution. By involution we mean the very long (depending on how strong the myself is) and involuntary process of our Mother Earth dissolving the “I’s” that we have created and freeing our beloved essence.

Very Disconcerting to Lose that Fear

Actually this may be very scary for the person to suddenly lose the fear of the abyss and the process of second death or involution. Why I ask, why does the person feel scared of losing the fear of the abyss?

Reason Why?

The reason why is that the person was using the fear of the abyss and the second death (involution) as a base or as a motivation to work on him or herself, and now without that base motivation the person feels that he or she has lost the interest or the motivation to die.

What Next?

The thing to do is to recognise or find the why of feeling fear for not feeling anymore the fear of the abyss and then to replace the base motivation with something else which is much more real. For example the love of the essence for the Being could easily replace this motivation and become our new motivation, or the essence’s love of freedom or light.

Revaluation - A Chance to Contrast and Choose

One may feel that they are going to jump into the abyss now and they are going to lose all interest in the light, but that is not so it is only a fleeting illusion, what will happen is that the person will naturally feel then a need in themselves to make a choice once again. They will inevitably come to contrast their situation, that is they will contrast the darkness of the abyss with the light of the Being and then choose. This is something entirely consciousness, to choose is consciousness and so it is a revaluation of the consciousness.

Why No Fear?

An interesting question is why would a person lose the fear of the abyss. An answer could be that the person has fought very hard with the ego and while fighting has been deep within the ego and perhaps has stopped being bothered or scared by the ego.

Deep Acquaintance with the Ego

The result of that fight and deep acquaintance with the ego is that the person comes to lose their fear of the ego because one has come to know it so well. Then an easy connection is made to the abyss, where we all know that the reality there is the many different “I’s”, and so as we are not scared of the ego we are not scared of the abyss because the abyss is essentially all the ego.

Conclusion - Implication to Mystical Death

The implication to mystical death is that of revaluation. Where the old motivation for working in mystical death is replaced with something wiser, more powerful, more conscious and more real, which is very important because what is real will not crumble as the previous base motivation (fear of the abyss) did.

End.

To Die is to Recuperate Being

With the Ego we are Neither Here nor There

There are some egos or “I’s” that when we get identified with them, we are really nothing. We even don’t achieve anything physical during the time in which we are identified with them. For example, it could be that we get very identified with lust while we are at work and during the time that we are identified we do nothing at all on either side, that is we don’t achieve the objective of the ego of lust and we don’t do anything at work. We are just like a leaf being blown in the wind, devoid of purpose, focus and presence.

The ‘I’ of Lust is the Worst for This

Lust is one of those egos that really takes away the power ‘to be’ in us. It really takes us far from the Being and ‘from being’. Would you like to know why?

The answer is in the nature of the sexual energy itself. This energy is from our Divinity or from our Being and it gives us the power to create and therefore ‘to be’. When we lose this energy we fall far from the Being into not one ego but into many egos where we ‘are not’, that is we are not an individual we are a plurality and one responsible identity does not exist. All because of the loss of the sexual energy, due to of course the ‘I’ of lust. How powerful and important is the sexual energy.

It is About Identity

However more importantly when we are identified with an ego we are the ego and we are definitely not the Being, in fact we have forgotten the Being, we have adopted a new, but false identity, which is the identity of the ego.

To snap out of this we have to realise that we are identified and then remember the Being once again and adopt our real and true identity which is that of the essence, or consciousness or the Being.

When we Don’t Identify

When we are not identified with the ego and we are present or mindful or aware of ourselves and we are not thinking we are here and we ‘are being’. Someone is present, the Being in us is present. Our consciousness and our essence is present, there is a responsible body or identity or entity that is real and can be held responsible, and by the way is the best one to talk to and interact with.

Really we should bring our essence and therefore our Being into every interaction with other creatures and human beings.

The Feeling of the Essence is Basically the Same as the Being

Master Samael said something amazing and he essentially said that the feeling that the free essence has is in the end the same feeling that the Being has. This is because he says that the essence comes from the human soul and the human soul comes from Atman, and Atman comes from Kether the Father (the top of our Being in creation or manifestation) who is in secret within us.

When we Stop Lust

When we stop lust we have the sexual energy at our disposal and at our availability to be used by our consciousness ‘to be’. That is to be used for our Being to make our Being in us more powerful and more and more present in us.

When we fornicate or lose the sexual energy we lose the Being and ‘being’, we lose our identity, our power ‘to be’ goes. This is so easily known by many Gnostics when the unfortunate situation occurs that the sexual energy has been involuntarily lost.

Conclusion

It is so very important to know that we are the essence and that we are the Being. We have to know this, we have to experience it because it really helps us immensely to really and truly understand what non-identification is and therefore it helps us in our awakening and it also helps us in our mystical death. It is a crucial and critical element that we must acquire as soon as possible!

End.

Mystical Death and Definition

Before we Die we have to Define Ourselves

A large part of mystical death is definition. We have to be decided or defined to first of all to die in ourselves or in a particular ego before we can advance in our mystical death.

Definition Takes Work

To get to the point of being defined to die in an ego is very difficult. It takes work, actually depending on the size of the ego, a very considerable amount of work may be needed.

To be Defined Equals Hypnotic Grip Broken or Loosened

To be decided and ready and wanting mystical death is really what one feels when one is defined to die. One no longer feels undecided, attached to the ego (no longer liking it), bored at the prospect of dissolving it, or afraid.

The hypnotic grip is the thing that keeps us attached to the ego and frankly not wanting yet wanting to die in the ego. In that state of wanting and not wanting, we end up really doing nothing towards death, rather we really only end up giving into the ego more than dissolving it.

So when we are defined as mentioned in the first paragraph of this section we have certainly loosened greatly or even defeated the hypnotic grip of the ego.

How to Know You are Defined

Just as a side note, to know if you are defined or not this simple test never fails. If you are able to ask your Divine Mother to dissolve that ego completely and you only feel happy then that is certainly a good sign that you are defined. Also another test is that if you are able to promise the Divine Law to work on that ego in turn for its radical dissolution and you feel happy and relieved then you are defined.

Definition to Die is Crucial

To be defined is a very crucial stage in the elimination of any ego. We actually have to work to conquer that stage. I personally think that it is the hardest part of the battle. Once you have come this far the rest is like riding downhill.

IT can take a long time you know and to get it can cost one a lot of suffering and effort. I’ll tell you from experience it is essentially the repeated experience of pain of having that ego that brings one closer and closer to the point of definition.

Definition and Crisis

Sometimes to get to the point of definition we have to pass through a crisis where the pain of the ego becomes so strong and we naturally start to desire to eliminate it, however this desire clashes with the desire of the ego to continue living and this clash adds to the pain you already feel, and then you feel that you have no other option than to destroy that ego. You also feel in these crises that if you don’t eliminate that ego it will take you off the path and into degeneration or deeply into horizontal life.

Conclusion

There is a special point in the process of eliminating the ego called definition, and to eliminate any ego we all have to pass through this point.

To pass through this point takes work, even much suffering and time (maybe years). Even once you are there we can fall back into the ego and lose it. However, we can regain it, that is certain. Sometimes getting there and losing it is part of our particular process in dissolving that ego.

If it is very costly to get to the point of definition then that ego is karmic. Anyway we have to work to get to that point of definition, which is being fully ready and happy to have it eliminated.

To get to the point of definition, concentrate on renouncing the ego and when you propose your decision to renounce the ego it will struggle, resist, suffer, send you pain and fight like crazy. This is a very crucial moment because it will allow you to see why you can’t let go of it. It will expose its logic and if you defeat its logic you will break its hypnosis and define yourself to die in that ego.

End.

Impregnated By Mystical Death

Sometimes

Sometimes when we have not been working on our own mystical death for a while and we begin to work on it again we can feel that mystical death is something that is too hard and the mantra KRIM feels to have a negative burning effect on us (we feel that is harming us).

Lost the Vibration

We feel this because in the process of while having stopped the work of mystical death we lost the vibration or surrounding force of mystical death. When we work in mystical death we attract the forces of mystical death that are generated by our actions and practices, by our own Divine Mother and by Death herself.

Not Ready

When we have lost the vibration of mystical death or when those forces have abandoned us we are not really ready to die or we can not die mystically. We need first of all to get those forces to come back to us, by invoking them or by regenerating them.

Actually the best is a combination of the two, however the quality of our part determines the quality and quantity of the part of the other (Divine Mother and Death).

Regenerate the Forces of Mystical Death

To be ready for mystical death we have to be impregnated once again with death, that is with the forces of mystical death.

The best way to do this is to definitely and solidly decide and define yourself to die in an ego or more than ego or in all the egos. Invoke the Divine Mother, especially Hecate and pray to your Divine Mother telling her how much you want to die. Then truly, sincerely release/renounce the ego in your mind and heart and chant the mantra KRIM.

Reason Why we are Pendular in Mystical Death

It is very difficult to die if we are not impregnated with the forces of death. When we are not impregnated with the forces of death, mystical death feels to be too difficult to complete and we feel that we need a break or we can’t continue, so then we enter into a pendular like state, swinging to occasions where we don’t work in mystical death and then swinging to instances where we do work in mystical death.

When we are impregnated with mystical death we can work constantly in mystical death and it does us no harm, and the forces of death helps us to progress deeper and more expansively in our own mystical death.

Conclusion

Death is a force that can surround us and impregnate us, and it is a force that exists in the cosmos and fulfils the function of helping us in our mystical death. Even Death herself, the personification of that cosmic force can come to visit us and evaluate how our mystical death is progressing.

Just work in your mystical death honestly and sincerely giving your honest best, and death will come to support you. Please note, don’t be scared of Death because the values or merits of our mystical death will keep Death helping us mystically and not acting on us physically.

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Daily Psychological Work

Introduction

This post is a essentially the presentation of a step by step guided practice that one can go through at one’s leisure at the end of every day.

The Practice

Relax (Body)

1.) Choose your position and begin by relaxing your body. One very effective way to do this is to use the breathing.

2.) Follow your breath and when you breathe in notice that you are slightly invigorated. This slight bit of energy helps us t maintain the practice.

3.) When you breathe out notice that you relax and that you release tension.

4.) Use the out breath to relax your whole body. See and feel that the tension in your body goes out with each out breath.

Relax (Mind and Emotion)

1.) Put your focus into your mind and as you continue to put your focus there, expand your focus to make you gradually aware of all that you have going on in your mind.

2.) Just become aware of what you have in your mind.

3.)Now focus your attention on your emotional centre located in your solar plexus. Expand your awareness there to become more and more aware of what is going on in your emotional centre.

4.) Now, keep your attention focussed in a no strained way in your mind. Watch for the thoiughts that appear.

5.) When a thought appears, let go of it. Don’t continue the thinking process. Gently stop the thinking process and release the issue or topic that the thought is about.

6.) Continue to do this until you notice a change in the level of activity of the mind.

Retrospection (Focusing on the Day’s Failures)

1.) Retrospection: start from right now, that is the moment right now that you are doing this practice and go backwards.

2.) Work backwards by recounting the events and actions of your day, but pay more attention to your inner psychological state during each event. More importantly, recount what you were feeling and were thinking during each event.

3.) Look for the events in which you failed in the ego, events where you got identified with the ego  and the thoughts, emotions and actions that were generated could have been stopped.

4.) Stop the retrospection practice when you reach the moment that you woke up.

Make a list of the Failures

1.) After the retrospection practice you will have enough information to be able to make a list of the day’s failures.

2.) Put the ones that were more intense and longer lasting at the top of the list and give them more priority.

Work on the Ego Behind the Failure

1.) Take the two biggest failures and examine them.

2.) Determine which ego is behind them.

3.) Also determine what is the way of thinking of the ego behind them. This is the logic of the ego that is behind these failures.

4.) Question sincerely and deeply the truth of the ego.

5.) Upon seeing that main arguments or line of thinking of the ego is false and wrong we are ready for elimination, because we will want to eliminate the ego and we will see it false and wrong and we will never be able to eliminate something that is true or wrong.

Elimination with the Divine Mother

1.) Concentrate on your heart. Remember that in the inner esoteric dimension of your heart is your heart temple, which is the temple of your Being and of course Divine Mother.

2.) Yearn for her to hear you and help you. Concentrate on her and invoke her using the mantra RAM0IO, or O AO KAKOF NAKONSA or SOLU SIGI SIG.

3.) Present the ego to her, telling her all about what it does and how it is wrong and how you want to eliminate it.

4.) Beg her to dissolve it in the intellectual centre. Vocalise the mantra KRIM nine times.

5.) Beg her to dissolve it in the emotional centre. Vocalise the mantra KRIM nine times.

6.) Beg her to dissolve it in the motor, instinctive, sexual centres. Vocalise the mantra KRIM nine times.

The Resolution to Make Tomorrow Different

After all that have seen, understood and done in the practice form the decision and therefore resolution to not fall into identification with that ego or ‘I’ tomorrow morning.

Now to finish this practice activate your awareness to that particular defect. Because it just could waiting for you to finish your practice to manifest! Don’t let it catch you off guard!

End.

Daily Work (Daily Bread)

Introduction

When we are decided to work on ourselves, that is to work on our own transformation or mystical death, every day is immensely valuable to us.

Why we may ask. The answer lies in that when we begin to know ourselves even only a little and we comprehend what the work on oneself is we see that we have so much to do and we really can’t afford to waste time.

Everyday truly gives us many chances on many levels to extract material to work on and to motivate us to work.

What I would like to introduce you to in this post is a method of finding what we can work on in a given day. Using this technique will help us not to waste our day and make the day we have just lived useful to ourselves (this includes others), the Great Cause (this also includes others) and our Being.

This is the start of the work of being able to earn our “daily bread” as it is mentioned in Lord’s prayer.

A Good Scan of the Centres

The first thing to do is to make contact with the centres of your human machine. The centres of our human machine, principally our intellectual and emotional centres show us the state that our psychology is in, in any given moment. Knowing the state that our psychology is in allows us to work on ourselves. It is actually the first point of departure in the journey of working on ourselves.

The technique involves doing a scan of our centres preferably in the morning to find out or detect what issues, problems, worries, points of pain, tension, anxiety, anger, etc. resides in us (our psychology).

Steps to Scan our Centres

1.) Put your attention in the intellectual centre. Then focus your awareness there, allowing it to gradually increase as you keep your focus concentrated on the intellectual centre.

2.) In the intellectual centre look for any worries, problems, threats, anger, fantasy etc. Anything that troubles us or is taking up space.

3.) Put your attention in the emotional centre. Once again focus your awareness there, allowing it to gradually increase as you keep your focus concentrated on the emotional centre.

4.) In the emotional centre look for anything that troubles us or is taking up space.

5.) Now observe your motor centre and see if its behaviour is connected to what you saw in the intellectual or emotional centres.

6.) Note down on paper or make a mental note of what you found.

7.) Now with what you found go to work. If you didn’t find anything then scan the environment to find something in your present environment to use to work on yourself.

Scan the Environment

When everything is ok within us, that is, there are no issues or problems within us we can use our current environment to do some work on ourselves.

Steps to Use the Environment to Work on Ourselves

1.) See who is in your environment. See if you can help them in some way. Helping others always brings out one or several egos.

2.) See if there is some good that can be done in the environment. Doing good always draws opposition from certain egos in us.

3.) Is the environment bringing out certain egos in you that are not present in other environments? What egos take advantage of being in this environment? They could be egos of vice, negative egos (resentment, lust, gossiping etc.), they could be egos of fear, anxiety, worry etc.

4.) Are there any tasks that we have been delaying to do in the environment?

5.)Take note of what you have found and then act! That is most important part, act on what you find!

Retrospection

This exercise involves looking over past days that you have lived through and finding egos to work on. Usually during the course of some days many egos pass through us and they go unworked.

Retrospection Exercise Steps

1.) Choose any day that you have lived, it could even be your day today so far.

2.) Recount all that you have lived through hour by hour starting from the morning. Remember the external events and your actions and also remember what you thought and felt.

3.) Look through all that you recount for the egos that manifested.

4.) Take a mental note or write down what you find and then go to work upon what you have found.

5.) You can be sure that what you find is worth working on because it will come back again, even this very day.

Work on the Ego Even if it is Not There

A lot of the time we don’t work on ourselves because we don’t see the ego in us. This I consider is a false step. Because that ego is not eliminated and for sure it will come back again, and give us as much trouble or even more than it did in the past.

If we work on an ego that we know is very big and gives us lots of trouble the best thing that we can do is to work on it continuously even if it is not in the human machine at the moment. The advantage to this is that we are weakening it and it won’t catch us by surprise.

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Transmutation and the Dissolution of Lust

Our Mind and Sexual Energy are Linked

Just in case you do not know or are not fully aware of it, there is a very strong link between our mind and our sexual centre.

We know that our thoughts, especially our imagination affects our sexual centre, I’m sure everyone knows about this.

Mind Affects Sex

So it is quite easy to accept then that the thoughts we think can stir up, pacify or direct our sexual energy. That is well known, but it is not so well know that our sexual energy can affect our mind.

Sex Affects Mind

This has to be so, that the state of the sexual energy affects our mind. This is so because any type of relation goes two ways. In fact we often in relationships only see one side and we make the mistake here of only really seeing one side too, the side that the thoughts affect the sexual energy.

Both are linked and they share a similar nature, just as in the theory of yoga that if one controls the breath, one controls the mind and the sexual energy.

If our sexual energy is made to flow in our mind will then think inwardly about its own nature, about inner processes about our Being and about our psychology. Whereas, if the sexual energy is prompting to flow outward the mind will be focused on external things, and very focused on them even to the point of obsession.

Transmutation – the Key

The key to help us tremendously is the key of transmutation, which is to make the sexual energy to flow inward and thus making our mind to focus inwardly and therefore away from the external which is lust.

We have to when we have these sexual storms and where lust takes advantage really transmute in anyway, as a married couple or as a single very intensely. Even if we are married we have to transmute by ourselves very intensely in these type of times.

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Dealing with Rejection (‘I’ of Self-Love)

Observations

We feel the bite of this ego of self-love when we perceive we are being rejected by another person (note, this is only one of the many ways in which we feel the bite of self-love). Usually that other person is someone whom we may love or respect a lot or expect a lot from.

Here below are some of the thoughts and emotions that we experience when that aspect of the ego of self-love manifests in us.

Trigger

The aspect of self-love that feels hurt when others reject us is triggered when we notice a pulling back of the expression of the usual love that the other person gives us. Also when we notice or feel a certain coldness from the other person towards us, when we feel that there is a gap, and we perceive that the other person has taken the decision to pull back or away from us.

What Hurts Self-Love the Most

This perception of the other person’s decision is what gets the ego the most. The ego believes that the person has broken the right to pull back their love that we identified with the ego believe or think they must give us. We actually or this ego has people in a love slave contract.

Injured Pride

Our Pride is hurt and it gets angry saying that we can not accept that the other person wants their freedom. Pride can not accept that they override our authority and that they break free from our control or dominion.

With the ego of self-love we have others as prisoners to the expectation that they have to give us love and our pride holds that in place. Self-love says: “Who are they to not give us that love, that high esteem and that high respect and that continued love?”. We believe with our Pride that we are worthy and deserving and we are better and so they have to always give us that love. That is the crux of the matter, that we believe ourselves to always be better, higher and always worthy of the other person’s love and because of that we can not stand that they lower their love, we think that that they have no right to do it.

When Rejection is Abrupt

When we are rejected brutally or abruptly, self-love thinks they don’t have the right to do it so brutally, so abruptly. Self-love sees it is like it is an attack to our pride, forcing us to be lowered, it is like saying that we are really low and useless.

Reaction After Rejection

After being rejected we develop a way of acting to avoid the person so as not to get rejected again. But that is not the solution. The solution is not to come on too heavy with the person, be normal or a bit more distant than usual, and work hard yourself.

We Feel that we are Lowered

We often feel that we are humiliated or lowered in some way. The key resides in understanding that we are not lowered. The key point to understand is that we are not lowered by being rejected, but that the other person has allowed him or herself to be lowered by an ego (selfishness, fear, resentment, self-love, jealousy etc.), that in turn rejects us.

Is that true that we are lowered? It seems as though we are humiliated (pride is affected), but are we? It feels that we are stupid, our kindness thrown back into our face, our vulnerability taken advantage of, or our vulnerability, our openness is not understood and that gift that we give of our self is thrown back to us.

We should not believe that what we are giving is tender and nice, we believe we are exposed and, that we are giving the best of ourselves, and that is the point where we get angry. Because when we believe we are giving the best of our self and it is rejected we naturally get angry because we see that something beautiful, pure, soft, friendly and good is being trampled on and destroyed, so in the face of that injustice we get angry to correct the or rectify the situation.

Not Feel Lowered

To not feel lowered we have to see that we are the same, the mistake we made that upset the person, was only relative and it may not have been a mistake it could have been a very kind and right to thing to do, but it was rejected. Overall, did we make a mistake? In the big picture of things did we really make a mistake?

The feeling of being humiliated, is what we can’t stand, we think we are less, in the dark, down, unliked, something bad, anything that comes from us is terrible, that is not true, that is the arrogance of the people that reject us.

People are Free

People are free to love or reject us. Set the person free, we are fine, unaffected, not altered by their decision, we are not hurt, because we don’t have any expectations, any investment, we are not deriving our self-worth or self-value from their opinion or degree of love for us.

Common Reaction

Our common reaction is to want to leave, we say “you don’t like me, me being around hurts you, then I should just leave!”. This reaction is really rash and is an overreaction. The best thing that we can do is to wait for this impulse to pass. If don’t feel lowered or humiliated we won’t have this type of reaction. We need to have trust in the person in that we trust their love and that it will come back to us. We need trust in love.

Conclusion

The big point to take from this post is that when we are rejected we have to understand that we are not lowered, there is nothing wrong with us. We are an essence just as beautiful and wise and full of potential and possibilities as are the others. Don’t feel abandoned because when we are rejected we are sent to ourselves and our Being. And the Being does not reject us, He can’t because He is us and we are Him. Others when they reject us they are rejecting themselves, because it is their thoughts that they reject. It is not something personal. We are born by ourselves and we will die by ourselves and we live by virtue of principally ourselves and not by others. But we do live in another way due to the labours of others. The last point to always keep strongly in mind is the be tranquil and wait for the love to return, if not it is not a love worth fighting for.

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