Selfishness – One of Its Functions & Pleasures

Selfishness

Selfishness is really a multi-faceted defect, and so this blog post is only going to concentrate on one of its facets, and this facet centres around one observation and this observation is that selfishness tends to increase when some hardship with other people is experienced.

Why?

This is quite easy to answer because selfishness is a mechanism of self-protection. It knows that being alone we are safe and no one can hurt us. Being with others we know that the danger is there, that we could get hurt once again while being in the presence of others, so naturally and logically we seek isolation.

Selfishness then is a mechanism of compensation, it promises pleasure, projecting ideas of us being alone doing something that we can only really do alone and of course we are there enjoying it immensely. We project ideas of going for a long walk along the beach, reading as much as we like, meditating somewhere peaceful, watching movies, etc. etc.

Animal in Nature

Well true many animals exhibit this kind of behaviour when they are hurt they isolate themselves until they are better, they do it as a means of self-protection.

Pleasure

The pleasure aspect of selfishness is the big part. If there were no selfishness involved then there would be no selfish behaviour. The main reason why we obey the ideas and projections of selfishness is because it promises us immense pleasure and enjoyment.

Conclusion

We may revel in the pleasure of selfishness but from experience that pleasure soon turns bitter because it may not be something we deserve and we end up hurting others or neglecting that which should not be neglected. We usually go out of balance when we dive into the pleasure of selfishness and being out of balance of brings pain in the moments when we have to regain our balance. Think about it and try it out for yourself, see if it is true in your experience.

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Self-Compassion is an Inner Mechanism of Compensation for When we Fail

Introduction

This is a very strange assertion: to say that self-compassion is an inner mechanism of compensation for when we fail. The aim of this post is to make this statement a lot more understandable and ultimately real to you.

Compassion of a very ordinary mechanical type is brought forth in people when we see that others are suffering, undergoing a difficult time or have failed in something or rather, and or are worse off than ourselves. So self-compassion is ourselves giving that to ourselves, but in the wrong way, where we just end up getting stuck, not getting up (and trying again) and feeling worse and worse about ourselves, others, our situation and the world.

An Inner Mechanism of Compensation?

Self-compassion is really a compensation for when we fail in life, or in any endeavour that we undertake, whether it be something in our human life or something in our spiritual life.

When we fail we need something to console us and to commiserate our failure, and we have just that element inside of ourselves, and that element is what we call self-compassion. It is a psychological characteristic or ‘I’ (ego, one of the many that we have) that feels sorry for ourselves and says things like, I’m a failure, I’m doing nothing in life, I’m going nowhere, I’m not going to make it. We feel that we can’t achieve, that we can’t get to where we want to go.

 Self-compassion seeks others that are sympathetic to its failure and join us in our lamentations about having failed. It doesn’t like people who say: “get up and try again” and or “stop feeling sorry for yourself and just do it”. This is because it wants to compensate for its failure by giving itself compassion, recovery time, rest, feel good movies, feel good comfort food, lamentations, regrets, going over and over the reasons why we failed, blaming others etc. etc.

A Debt with Ourselves

When we don’t do all that we can, in other words when we don’t give our best we create a debt with ourselves. Or when we have an expectation of ourself, we create a debt with ourselves when we fail. And to compensate for that debt or to pay that debt we have the psychological element called self-compassion that trues to cancel that debt by giving ourselves compassion of a negative type, justifying the failure saying that wea re useless and good for nothing.

The Right Kind of Self-Compassion

If we were to say to people don’t have compassion with yourself, a lot of people would protest. We actually want to say don’t have the negative type of self-compassion with yourself. Definitely don’t indulge in that and go ahead and eliminate it, already.

You can have the positive self-compassion which recognises that we failed and impulses us to get up immediately and learn about where we failed, and try again correcting our path that lead to our failure. Get up, repent, repair and go again until you triumph, that is the real self-compassion because that is what brings you hope, makes you authentically feel better and leads you to triumph which is entirely in your benefit. The other negative type of self-compassion leads you in a hole that you dig deeper and deeper every minute that you don’t get out of it.

Conclusion

So I really hope that we have made this topic of self-compassion a lot clearer and that you may find it useful for when you feel self-compassion to be able to understand that when we feel this way, we are only trying to balance our failure and we don’t need self-compassion to do that for us we can do it by trying again, getting up and going again!

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Lust is About Imbalance

Introduction

This is a very strange assertion: to say that lust is about an imbalance. The aim of this post is to make this statement much more understandable.

How is Lust an Imbalance?

Due to desire a need is born inside of us, and this need pushes us from inside to go and balance this desire with fulfilment or satisfaction.

Lust looks to make its desire a reality, or in other words it tries in its first attempt to find someone to satisfy or satiate its desire. Lust has the in-built need to balance its desires with real sensations or anything else that bring some satisfaction and therefore balance.

Desire Equals Imbalance

Somewhere within us there is a scale and on one side there is the desire weighing heavily and on the other side there is nothing there but an empty plate. This empty plate creates an imbalance, and as it is a law of nature to always seek a state of balance or equilibrium, the human being in this situation looks for a way to add something to the empty side of the scale so to balance the heavier side.

When we have some sort of desire we automatically imbalance the magic scale that we have inside of ourselves. If there is no desire unbalancing our scale there is no lustful action or action of compensation which in general is what the ego is.

How Does Lust Try to Balance its Desires?

Lust first of all looks to action to balance its desires. It tries to find physical satisfaction that according to the nature of lust (sexuality trapped in matter and the senses) does this using another person. If it can not do this with another person it goes into fantasy, and with fantasy the desire is fulfilled. Fantasy is nothing other than a mechanism of compensation, we act out with our fantasy what we can not do physically.

The truth or the revelation that Gnosis or an any system of in-depth esoteric self-knowledge provides us with, is that we have to learn not to depend on others to balance our inner urges and desires. One clear reason is because we can’t rely on others, they are not always there, or they are uncooperative and if we force them to comply we are doing something very wrong. So in essence, we have to learn how to balance our desires ourself and by ourselves.

How can we Balance the Natural Sexual Appetite without Lust?

We have the transmutation for that and the act of internal self-remembering. Transmuting our sexual energy transforms that desire into will, dignity, energy and well-being. When we transmute, the desire dissipates, the desire is not satisfied but rather transformed.

When the desire is transformed the heavy weight weighing down one side of our internal scale is removed and then our internal scale naturally balances itself. So that is the trick.

If lust wants attention from another person in order to get some sensation then we are once again unbalanced and we have to balance ourselves once again to arrive at peace.

The trick here is to give that attention to ourselves, that is to our own sexual energy or sexuality. That is to give it attention with conscious love, which is an attention that does not corrupt and does not cause the person to fall into vice. In other words to appreciate your sexual energy, to accept it, to care for it, and to transmute it enjoying how it enhances our inner Being. This is self-remembering; to recognise the great divine power that there is in sexuality and in our sexual energy.

Conclusion

When we experience sexual desire we end up getting unbalanced, and when we also feed that desire through impressions, fantasy and thoughts we get even further unbalanced. So like many other egos lust is a way of bringing balance to this imbalance that we create inside of ourselves. The key is understand this and then to go about balancing this ourselves by ourselves without lust and with or without another human being, either way (with or without another) it is done and can be done without lust. This is best and this will show you that you don’t need lust to manage your sexuality and you can take steps to eliminate it.

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Visual Depiction of the Way the Ego Dies

Introduction

We can see how our work on an ego is going through our dreams or internal experiences. This is very helpful and it should ratify or confirm what we are experiencing here physically.

Decreasing in Size

We may the ego that we are working on one day as being very strong and large and after some time we may see it as smaller and weaker. This is a clear sign that it is weakening and dying.

Dying

We may see an ego taking a human form and after we have worked on it we can see it as person who is weak and sick or even a person who has parts of his or her body gangrene, frostbitten or dead. This is also a very clear sign that eh ego we are working on is dying.

Becoming a Child

When we work on an ego we may see it as being very adult, nasty, astute and malignant. Later after some time and work we may see the same ego but this time having the appearance of a child and that the nastiness and ugliness that that ego had before is gone. This is also a clear indication that this ego is dying. Soon it will be like a baby and then it will disappear.

Injured

Furthermore we may even see an ego we are working o has having a large injury and because of that injury it is debilitated and weak. In this case our Divine Mother has hit it and it is up to us to maintain the injured state of this ego, we have to continue to work on it. If we do it will die.

Conclusion

All the experiences listed above are clear signs that if one see them, one can use to know that one is dying in a particular ego or defect. These signs though are only valid if they corroborate what we are experiencing here physically. That is for example, if the ego seems to be weaker here physically and we then see one of the signs listed above we can be sure that this ego is really dying in us. If not, i.e. the ego is just as strong here physically as it has always been then something is not quite right and we have to work and wait to be able to come to a solid conclusion about how the death of that ego is really going.

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Transmutation is a Sacrifice (Dissolution of Lust)

Introduction

Transmutation is really a sacrifice, but it is one that is very rewarding and much more beneficial to one’s: health, ethics and morale.

Anyone who Transmutes will Know

Anyone who has seriously tried to transmute would have understood that it is really a sacrifice and that it is not so easy to transmute and at times it requires a great effort on our part to defeat its opposite and genuinely transmute.

Stop: What is Transmutation?

For those new to the term of transmutation, it in Gnosis means the transformation of the sexual energy. Where the sexual energy (seminal entity) is not lost or expelled from the body, but transformed from its semi solid semi liquid state into energy that is moved through the body to certain principal organs where it is absorbed energising and enlightening those organs.

Why is it a Sacrifice?

Why transmutation is a sacrifice can be understood through this I think, very common human experience. As we eat, breathe and think our body manufactures sexual energy and deposits it into the sexual receptacles commonly called in the male body, testicles and the ovaries in the feminie body. As hours and minutes pass the sexual energy that is manufactured by the body accumulates, and because the nature of the sexual energy is dynamic and volatile, the person begins to feel impulses of a sexual kind (if the sexual energy was not so volatile these impulses probably would not be felt).

These impulses are essentially indications of the body and the sexual energy itself to the person’s mind and consciousness that something needs to be done with the sexual energy otherwise too much will accumulate and it will overflow. This overflowing of the sexual energy can take on several different manifestations, one typical one is ‘wet dreams’, other ones maybe be angry outbursts, acts of aggression, movie watching as if in a deep trance or licentious behaviour.

So when these impulses are felt they are accompanied by certain emotions and expectations or projections of pleasure, and the easy and natural tendency is to find someone of the opposite sex and simply follow the line of least effort which is to follow the current of physical pleasure that takes the person to experience pleasure that culminates with the loss of the sexual energy. Then the problem of the over accumulation of the sexual energy is solved. This is nature’s mechanical way of solving this problem. The ego of lust in this regard is an instrument of the mechanics of nature.

Mechanics of Nature

In fact mechanics require mechanical elements and such a mechanical element is the ego of lust, by dissolving lust we defeat a very powerful mechanism of nature. Nature uses this solution for its benefit which is to keep creation going and the Moon plays its role or influence in this mechanism as well, so the Moon is related to these mechanisms of nature.

The Feeling of Sacrifice in the Heat of the Moment

When a person is in the heat of this situation and the person knows about transmutation the person could feel the pull of the two forces, to transmute or to not transmute. The easier and more fun, pleasurable, interesting and exciting option maybe just to find someone to lose the sexual energy, and of course the more difficult, dry, boring and emotionally unsatisfying way is to transmute. Actually later on in this post I am going to explain that all these things are not true at all, and it happens that through bitter experience the opposite of what is written in the previous sentence is true, that is losing the sexual energy brings suffering and transmuting brings pleasure or satisfaction (pleasure and satisfaction of a physical, psychological and spiritual kind).

Transmutation is Much Easier!

The person in this state may make great efforts, risks and sacrifices to actually find the situation or circumstances to meet with a person of the opposite sex to copulate with. The person may expend a lot of resources: money, reputation, emotional well-being and energy just to copulate, which may last only a few minutes. The by far easier option is to transmute but in this hypnotised state is does not seem like it is the easier option, but it is really, just think about it rationally and logically.

It is so much easier to find five minutes and concentrate on the sexual organs and breathe in deeply imagining and willing the sexual energy to be transmuted and moved into the brain and heart. This is very much easier then chasing a person of the opposite sex, getting it wrong, being humiliated, rushing around, secret phone calls and emails, hiding, expending great amounts of intellectual, emotional and sexual energy, feeling nervous and anxious and losing the sexual energy, a very precious energy that is our spiritual life blood.

When ones transmutes one feels that one is doing the right thing for the planet, for their very own morale (committing adultery is very bad for one’s own morale) and for themselves and their inner spiritual parts. There is happiness and emotional, morale satisfaction.

The Price – Well Worth it Though!

To feel these positive, dignifying and edifying things costs a price and that price is sacrifice. That sacrifice is to sacrifice those feelings of projected pleasure, to deny or sacrifice those opportunities that nature provides to copulate or lose the sexual energy and even to sacrifice one’s false feelings of free will or freedom to find someone and copulate with that person. The real sacrifice maybe to sacrifice that false feeling of freedom and obey the inner Being and the principles of the esoteric work.

Sexual Energy – Whose Energy is it?

Well the truth is that we think the sexual energy is ours but it is not! It is given to us for our consciousness to use for the self-realisation or to fulfil the Parlock duty of the Being. We will be in the end accountable for how we have used this gift of the sexual energy. We carry this energy but it belongs to the Being, that is to our very own Being. We have to use it as He would want it to be used. That is obedience to our Being and that because of the state that we are in requires sacrifice. Later the feeling of sacrifice disappears as we dissolve the rebellious egos of lust and fornication.

Conclusion

Transmute! It is much easier and much more rewarding and it is the conscious way to go about the issue of our sexual energy! The other way is the painful and mechanical way.

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The Question of How to Die Mystically

A Conscious Work and a Science

Dying mystically is a matter of a conscious choice and conscious work. Nonetheless there is a science or a procedure involved.

The process of the death of an ‘I’ or a defect may vary between each individual, however that process even though it appears to be different passes through these five very broad stages.

An Exception

I would just like to say at this moment before we get too far into the topic of the five broad stages of mystical death, that in esotericism, there are always exceptions, and in the case of mystical death there are certainly exceptions. More will be covered regarding this later on in this post, see the section Kabbalistical Barks.

Five Broad Stages

The five broad stages through which one moves through when working for the death of an ego or ‘I’ are:

1.) Observation.

2.) Separation.

3.) Comprehension.

4.) Repentance.

5.) Elimination.

Note, Master Samael made these a little simpler, instead of five steps he gave three. He gave us: Observation, Comprehension and Elimination. Of course he was right, really comprehension is separation and repentance, so the steps of separation, comprehension and repentance really fall under comprehension. Why? Because separation, comprehension and repentance, are essentially all comprehension, but different (higher) octaves of comprehension.

Observation

This is the process of getting to know the ego or ‘I’ that you want to eliminate. The purpose of this type of observation is to come to comprehend and later eliminate the ego under study.

We have to come to know the environment the ego manifests in, the impressions that trigger it and of course what is crucial, is that we come to know its way of thinking.

We also have to come to know how this way of thinking influences the emotional and motor centres and we have to know this ego’s main arguments, justifications, logic, protests, likes, dislikes, expectations (should and should nots) etc.

Knowing the ego well leads us naturally to comprehension.

Separation

This is really the first step of comprehension because here is where we come to understand that what has been bothering us is really an ego, an ‘I’, a fragment of our psychology, a psychological person and overall something that is not us or not the whole of us anyway, but rather a visitor or conditioned fragment of our psychology that is triggered (externally or internally), and is strong and stubborn and stays in our human machine for a long time.

This is where we come to be able to separate that ego or ‘I’ from our mind, from our attention, from our human machine and from our main psychology.

We finally see that it is an ego and we are not that ego and other people are not to blame for our uncomfortable feelings but rather that ego is, and furthermore we sometime in the past created it. We essentially gain the understanding that allows us to start to not identify with that ego.

Comprehension

In this stage we come to understand the ego much more deeply. We understand its role and its function in our life, we come to see what it is used for in our life and what it has been created to do for us. We may even remember when and where we created it.

We may even be able to see that we don’t need it and that we can use the essence and the work to solve the situations that this ego in the past, has been used to solve.

We also come to know the logic of the ego, which is really the core of the ego. It is the sum of its concepts or it is main concept and reasoning. It is the logic or idea or concept or upon which it feels and acts the way it does. If we are able to prove the logic wrong honestly and sincerely inside ourselves we deliver the ego a huge blow.

Note: Logic of the Ego.

Please note, I will write very soon posts dedicated exclusively to the logic of the ego. Watch out for these posts in the near future.

Repentance

Repentance is where essentially we come to understand deeply that the ego is wrong, that it is not correct and that we can do better with the essence, the work and the Being or the parts of our Being. We also may feel sorry for the actions of this ego when we really come to understand that it is wrong.

A part of repentance is renunciation where we through comprehension see that the ego is not needed and that the things or values that the ego brings to us can be replaced by the essence and the Being. In renunciation we essentially renounce to the values (the feelings or things that we like) that the ego brings us.

Note: Values of the Ego

Please note, I have written some post on repentance and renunciation, however in the near future I will write posts dedicated to finding the values of the ego.

Elimination

This is a very important step, this is where really the ego is executed or finally made dead. The previous steps are marvellous in that they separate the ego from ourselves, allow us to control the ego completely, they give us triumph over the ego and they exile the ego from our psychology and from our human machine. But they do not destroy or dissolve the ego it remains alive and continues to bother us. The step of elimination is the final solution to the problem of the ego, this is where our particular Divine Mother destroys the ego and liberates the essence that is trapped inside it.

Then the essence that has been trapped returns to the body of free essence that we have and adds its light and wisdom to the wisdom and light of the already free essence. The interesting wisdom that is acquired from the newly freed essence is the wisdom of how that piece of essence got trapped in the ego.

Note: Divine Mother

Please note, if the matter of the Divine Mother is new to you please see some of my blog posts in the www.gnosticesotericstudyworkaids.blogspot.com.

Kabbalistical Barks

I would like to make a short digression here and explain a little what kabbalistical barks are. These barks or shells are egos that by the grace of our Divine Mother and the Divine Law are eliminated for us, or decapitated for us even when we have not passed through the previously listed five stages of eliminating an ego. They are called barks because the Divine Law and the Divine Mother extract the essence from them leaving only the shell or bark or outer skin of the ego. This bark decomposes in time.

This I want to stress can happen in a person but it is certainly not the norm. This favour is usually done for us when that ego is so strong and it is beyond our comprehension and it is harming us severely.

Summary

Here we have laid out the very basic structure of how to eliminate the ego. Master Samael wrote so much about it and the posts in this blogspot are dedicated to it. I sincerely hope that this has been of some use to you. If not please write to me using marianeptunus@gmail.com to tell me how to make it better. Thanks in advance if you do, do this.

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No Fear of Involution & Mystical Death

No Fear of the Involution

There may come a time in your work on the death of the ego where you may feel that you have lost the fear of involution. By involution we mean the very long (depending on how strong the myself is) and involuntary process of our Mother Earth dissolving the “I’s” that we have created and freeing our beloved essence.

Very Disconcerting to Lose that Fear

Actually this may be very scary for the person to suddenly lose the fear of the abyss and the process of second death or involution. Why I ask, why does the person feel scared of losing the fear of the abyss?

Reason Why?

The reason why is that the person was using the fear of the abyss and the second death (involution) as a base or as a motivation to work on him or herself, and now without that base motivation the person feels that he or she has lost the interest or the motivation to die.

What Next?

The thing to do is to recognise or find the why of feeling fear for not feeling anymore the fear of the abyss and then to replace the base motivation with something else which is much more real. For example the love of the essence for the Being could easily replace this motivation and become our new motivation, or the essence’s love of freedom or light.

Revaluation - A Chance to Contrast and Choose

One may feel that they are going to jump into the abyss now and they are going to lose all interest in the light, but that is not so it is only a fleeting illusion, what will happen is that the person will naturally feel then a need in themselves to make a choice once again. They will inevitably come to contrast their situation, that is they will contrast the darkness of the abyss with the light of the Being and then choose. This is something entirely consciousness, to choose is consciousness and so it is a revaluation of the consciousness.

Why No Fear?

An interesting question is why would a person lose the fear of the abyss. An answer could be that the person has fought very hard with the ego and while fighting has been deep within the ego and perhaps has stopped being bothered or scared by the ego.

Deep Acquaintance with the Ego

The result of that fight and deep acquaintance with the ego is that the person comes to lose their fear of the ego because one has come to know it so well. Then an easy connection is made to the abyss, where we all know that the reality there is the many different “I’s”, and so as we are not scared of the ego we are not scared of the abyss because the abyss is essentially all the ego.

Conclusion - Implication to Mystical Death

The implication to mystical death is that of revaluation. Where the old motivation for working in mystical death is replaced with something wiser, more powerful, more conscious and more real, which is very important because what is real will not crumble as the previous base motivation (fear of the abyss) did.

End.