Visual Depiction of the Way the Ego Dies

Introduction

We can see how our work on an ego is going through our dreams or internal experiences. This is very helpful and it should ratify or confirm what we are experiencing here physically.

Decreasing in Size

We may the ego that we are working on one day as being very strong and large and after some time we may see it as smaller and weaker. This is a clear sign that it is weakening and dying.

Dying

We may see an ego taking a human form and after we have worked on it we can see it as person who is weak and sick or even a person who has parts of his or her body gangrene, frostbitten or dead. This is also a very clear sign that eh ego we are working on is dying.

Becoming a Child

When we work on an ego we may see it as being very adult, nasty, astute and malignant. Later after some time and work we may see the same ego but this time having the appearance of a child and that the nastiness and ugliness that that ego had before is gone. This is also a clear indication that this ego is dying. Soon it will be like a baby and then it will disappear.

Injured

Furthermore we may even see an ego we are working o has having a large injury and because of that injury it is debilitated and weak. In this case our Divine Mother has hit it and it is up to us to maintain the injured state of this ego, we have to continue to work on it. If we do it will die.

Conclusion

All the experiences listed above are clear signs that if one see them, one can use to know that one is dying in a particular ego or defect. These signs though are only valid if they corroborate what we are experiencing here physically. That is for example, if the ego seems to be weaker here physically and we then see one of the signs listed above we can be sure that this ego is really dying in us. If not, i.e. the ego is just as strong here physically as it has always been then something is not quite right and we have to work and wait to be able to come to a solid conclusion about how the death of that ego is really going.

End.

Transmutation is a Sacrifice (Dissolution of Lust)

Introduction

Transmutation is really a sacrifice, but it is one that is very rewarding and much more beneficial to one’s: health, ethics and morale.

Anyone who Transmutes will Know

Anyone who has seriously tried to transmute would have understood that it is really a sacrifice and that it is not so easy to transmute and at times it requires a great effort on our part to defeat its opposite and genuinely transmute.

Stop: What is Transmutation?

For those new to the term of transmutation, it in Gnosis means the transformation of the sexual energy. Where the sexual energy (seminal entity) is not lost or expelled from the body, but transformed from its semi solid semi liquid state into energy that is moved through the body to certain principal organs where it is absorbed energising and enlightening those organs.

Why is it a Sacrifice?

Why transmutation is a sacrifice can be understood through this I think, very common human experience. As we eat, breathe and think our body manufactures sexual energy and deposits it into the sexual receptacles commonly called in the male body, testicles and the ovaries in the feminie body. As hours and minutes pass the sexual energy that is manufactured by the body accumulates, and because the nature of the sexual energy is dynamic and volatile, the person begins to feel impulses of a sexual kind (if the sexual energy was not so volatile these impulses probably would not be felt).

These impulses are essentially indications of the body and the sexual energy itself to the person’s mind and consciousness that something needs to be done with the sexual energy otherwise too much will accumulate and it will overflow. This overflowing of the sexual energy can take on several different manifestations, one typical one is ‘wet dreams’, other ones maybe be angry outbursts, acts of aggression, movie watching as if in a deep trance or licentious behaviour.

So when these impulses are felt they are accompanied by certain emotions and expectations or projections of pleasure, and the easy and natural tendency is to find someone of the opposite sex and simply follow the line of least effort which is to follow the current of physical pleasure that takes the person to experience pleasure that culminates with the loss of the sexual energy. Then the problem of the over accumulation of the sexual energy is solved. This is nature’s mechanical way of solving this problem. The ego of lust in this regard is an instrument of the mechanics of nature.

Mechanics of Nature

In fact mechanics require mechanical elements and such a mechanical element is the ego of lust, by dissolving lust we defeat a very powerful mechanism of nature. Nature uses this solution for its benefit which is to keep creation going and the Moon plays its role or influence in this mechanism as well, so the Moon is related to these mechanisms of nature.

The Feeling of Sacrifice in the Heat of the Moment

When a person is in the heat of this situation and the person knows about transmutation the person could feel the pull of the two forces, to transmute or to not transmute. The easier and more fun, pleasurable, interesting and exciting option maybe just to find someone to lose the sexual energy, and of course the more difficult, dry, boring and emotionally unsatisfying way is to transmute. Actually later on in this post I am going to explain that all these things are not true at all, and it happens that through bitter experience the opposite of what is written in the previous sentence is true, that is losing the sexual energy brings suffering and transmuting brings pleasure or satisfaction (pleasure and satisfaction of a physical, psychological and spiritual kind).

Transmutation is Much Easier!

The person in this state may make great efforts, risks and sacrifices to actually find the situation or circumstances to meet with a person of the opposite sex to copulate with. The person may expend a lot of resources: money, reputation, emotional well-being and energy just to copulate, which may last only a few minutes. The by far easier option is to transmute but in this hypnotised state is does not seem like it is the easier option, but it is really, just think about it rationally and logically.

It is so much easier to find five minutes and concentrate on the sexual organs and breathe in deeply imagining and willing the sexual energy to be transmuted and moved into the brain and heart. This is very much easier then chasing a person of the opposite sex, getting it wrong, being humiliated, rushing around, secret phone calls and emails, hiding, expending great amounts of intellectual, emotional and sexual energy, feeling nervous and anxious and losing the sexual energy, a very precious energy that is our spiritual life blood.

When ones transmutes one feels that one is doing the right thing for the planet, for their very own morale (committing adultery is very bad for one’s own morale) and for themselves and their inner spiritual parts. There is happiness and emotional, morale satisfaction.

The Price – Well Worth it Though!

To feel these positive, dignifying and edifying things costs a price and that price is sacrifice. That sacrifice is to sacrifice those feelings of projected pleasure, to deny or sacrifice those opportunities that nature provides to copulate or lose the sexual energy and even to sacrifice one’s false feelings of free will or freedom to find someone and copulate with that person. The real sacrifice maybe to sacrifice that false feeling of freedom and obey the inner Being and the principles of the esoteric work.

Sexual Energy – Whose Energy is it?

Well the truth is that we think the sexual energy is ours but it is not! It is given to us for our consciousness to use for the self-realisation or to fulfil the Parlock duty of the Being. We will be in the end accountable for how we have used this gift of the sexual energy. We carry this energy but it belongs to the Being, that is to our very own Being. We have to use it as He would want it to be used. That is obedience to our Being and that because of the state that we are in requires sacrifice. Later the feeling of sacrifice disappears as we dissolve the rebellious egos of lust and fornication.

Conclusion

Transmute! It is much easier and much more rewarding and it is the conscious way to go about the issue of our sexual energy! The other way is the painful and mechanical way.

End.

The Question of How to Die Mystically

A Conscious Work and a Science

Dying mystically is a matter of a conscious choice and conscious work. Nonetheless there is a science or a procedure involved.

The process of the death of an ‘I’ or a defect may vary between each individual, however that process even though it appears to be different passes through these five very broad stages.

An Exception

I would just like to say at this moment before we get too far into the topic of the five broad stages of mystical death, that in esotericism, there are always exceptions, and in the case of mystical death there are certainly exceptions. More will be covered regarding this later on in this post, see the section Kabbalistical Barks.

Five Broad Stages

The five broad stages through which one moves through when working for the death of an ego or ‘I’ are:

1.) Observation.

2.) Separation.

3.) Comprehension.

4.) Repentance.

5.) Elimination.

Note, Master Samael made these a little simpler, instead of five steps he gave three. He gave us: Observation, Comprehension and Elimination. Of course he was right, really comprehension is separation and repentance, so the steps of separation, comprehension and repentance really fall under comprehension. Why? Because separation, comprehension and repentance, are essentially all comprehension, but different (higher) octaves of comprehension.

Observation

This is the process of getting to know the ego or ‘I’ that you want to eliminate. The purpose of this type of observation is to come to comprehend and later eliminate the ego under study.

We have to come to know the environment the ego manifests in, the impressions that trigger it and of course what is crucial, is that we come to know its way of thinking.

We also have to come to know how this way of thinking influences the emotional and motor centres and we have to know this ego’s main arguments, justifications, logic, protests, likes, dislikes, expectations (should and should nots) etc.

Knowing the ego well leads us naturally to comprehension.

Separation

This is really the first step of comprehension because here is where we come to understand that what has been bothering us is really an ego, an ‘I’, a fragment of our psychology, a psychological person and overall something that is not us or not the whole of us anyway, but rather a visitor or conditioned fragment of our psychology that is triggered (externally or internally), and is strong and stubborn and stays in our human machine for a long time.

This is where we come to be able to separate that ego or ‘I’ from our mind, from our attention, from our human machine and from our main psychology.

We finally see that it is an ego and we are not that ego and other people are not to blame for our uncomfortable feelings but rather that ego is, and furthermore we sometime in the past created it. We essentially gain the understanding that allows us to start to not identify with that ego.

Comprehension

In this stage we come to understand the ego much more deeply. We understand its role and its function in our life, we come to see what it is used for in our life and what it has been created to do for us. We may even remember when and where we created it.

We may even be able to see that we don’t need it and that we can use the essence and the work to solve the situations that this ego in the past, has been used to solve.

We also come to know the logic of the ego, which is really the core of the ego. It is the sum of its concepts or it is main concept and reasoning. It is the logic or idea or concept or upon which it feels and acts the way it does. If we are able to prove the logic wrong honestly and sincerely inside ourselves we deliver the ego a huge blow.

Note: Logic of the Ego.

Please note, I will write very soon posts dedicated exclusively to the logic of the ego. Watch out for these posts in the near future.

Repentance

Repentance is where essentially we come to understand deeply that the ego is wrong, that it is not correct and that we can do better with the essence, the work and the Being or the parts of our Being. We also may feel sorry for the actions of this ego when we really come to understand that it is wrong.

A part of repentance is renunciation where we through comprehension see that the ego is not needed and that the things or values that the ego brings to us can be replaced by the essence and the Being. In renunciation we essentially renounce to the values (the feelings or things that we like) that the ego brings us.

Note: Values of the Ego

Please note, I have written some post on repentance and renunciation, however in the near future I will write posts dedicated to finding the values of the ego.

Elimination

This is a very important step, this is where really the ego is executed or finally made dead. The previous steps are marvellous in that they separate the ego from ourselves, allow us to control the ego completely, they give us triumph over the ego and they exile the ego from our psychology and from our human machine. But they do not destroy or dissolve the ego it remains alive and continues to bother us. The step of elimination is the final solution to the problem of the ego, this is where our particular Divine Mother destroys the ego and liberates the essence that is trapped inside it.

Then the essence that has been trapped returns to the body of free essence that we have and adds its light and wisdom to the wisdom and light of the already free essence. The interesting wisdom that is acquired from the newly freed essence is the wisdom of how that piece of essence got trapped in the ego.

Note: Divine Mother

Please note, if the matter of the Divine Mother is new to you please see some of my blog posts in the www.gnosticesotericstudyworkaids.blogspot.com.

Kabbalistical Barks

I would like to make a short digression here and explain a little what kabbalistical barks are. These barks or shells are egos that by the grace of our Divine Mother and the Divine Law are eliminated for us, or decapitated for us even when we have not passed through the previously listed five stages of eliminating an ego. They are called barks because the Divine Law and the Divine Mother extract the essence from them leaving only the shell or bark or outer skin of the ego. This bark decomposes in time.

This I want to stress can happen in a person but it is certainly not the norm. This favour is usually done for us when that ego is so strong and it is beyond our comprehension and it is harming us severely.

Summary

Here we have laid out the very basic structure of how to eliminate the ego. Master Samael wrote so much about it and the posts in this blogspot are dedicated to it. I sincerely hope that this has been of some use to you. If not please write to me using marianeptunus@gmail.com to tell me how to make it better. Thanks in advance if you do, do this.

End.

No Fear of Involution & Mystical Death

No Fear of the Involution

There may come a time in your work on the death of the ego where you may feel that you have lost the fear of involution. By involution we mean the very long (depending on how strong the myself is) and involuntary process of our Mother Earth dissolving the “I’s” that we have created and freeing our beloved essence.

Very Disconcerting to Lose that Fear

Actually this may be very scary for the person to suddenly lose the fear of the abyss and the process of second death or involution. Why I ask, why does the person feel scared of losing the fear of the abyss?

Reason Why?

The reason why is that the person was using the fear of the abyss and the second death (involution) as a base or as a motivation to work on him or herself, and now without that base motivation the person feels that he or she has lost the interest or the motivation to die.

What Next?

The thing to do is to recognise or find the why of feeling fear for not feeling anymore the fear of the abyss and then to replace the base motivation with something else which is much more real. For example the love of the essence for the Being could easily replace this motivation and become our new motivation, or the essence’s love of freedom or light.

Revaluation - A Chance to Contrast and Choose

One may feel that they are going to jump into the abyss now and they are going to lose all interest in the light, but that is not so it is only a fleeting illusion, what will happen is that the person will naturally feel then a need in themselves to make a choice once again. They will inevitably come to contrast their situation, that is they will contrast the darkness of the abyss with the light of the Being and then choose. This is something entirely consciousness, to choose is consciousness and so it is a revaluation of the consciousness.

Why No Fear?

An interesting question is why would a person lose the fear of the abyss. An answer could be that the person has fought very hard with the ego and while fighting has been deep within the ego and perhaps has stopped being bothered or scared by the ego.

Deep Acquaintance with the Ego

The result of that fight and deep acquaintance with the ego is that the person comes to lose their fear of the ego because one has come to know it so well. Then an easy connection is made to the abyss, where we all know that the reality there is the many different “I’s”, and so as we are not scared of the ego we are not scared of the abyss because the abyss is essentially all the ego.

Conclusion - Implication to Mystical Death

The implication to mystical death is that of revaluation. Where the old motivation for working in mystical death is replaced with something wiser, more powerful, more conscious and more real, which is very important because what is real will not crumble as the previous base motivation (fear of the abyss) did.

End.

To Die is to Recuperate Being

With the Ego we are Neither Here nor There

There are some egos or “I’s” that when we get identified with them, we are really nothing. We even don’t achieve anything physical during the time in which we are identified with them. For example, it could be that we get very identified with lust while we are at work and during the time that we are identified we do nothing at all on either side, that is we don’t achieve the objective of the ego of lust and we don’t do anything at work. We are just like a leaf being blown in the wind, devoid of purpose, focus and presence.

The ‘I’ of Lust is the Worst for This

Lust is one of those egos that really takes away the power ‘to be’ in us. It really takes us far from the Being and ‘from being’. Would you like to know why?

The answer is in the nature of the sexual energy itself. This energy is from our Divinity or from our Being and it gives us the power to create and therefore ‘to be’. When we lose this energy we fall far from the Being into not one ego but into many egos where we ‘are not’, that is we are not an individual we are a plurality and one responsible identity does not exist. All because of the loss of the sexual energy, due to of course the ‘I’ of lust. How powerful and important is the sexual energy.

It is About Identity

However more importantly when we are identified with an ego we are the ego and we are definitely not the Being, in fact we have forgotten the Being, we have adopted a new, but false identity, which is the identity of the ego.

To snap out of this we have to realise that we are identified and then remember the Being once again and adopt our real and true identity which is that of the essence, or consciousness or the Being.

When we Don’t Identify

When we are not identified with the ego and we are present or mindful or aware of ourselves and we are not thinking we are here and we ‘are being’. Someone is present, the Being in us is present. Our consciousness and our essence is present, there is a responsible body or identity or entity that is real and can be held responsible, and by the way is the best one to talk to and interact with.

Really we should bring our essence and therefore our Being into every interaction with other creatures and human beings.

The Feeling of the Essence is Basically the Same as the Being

Master Samael said something amazing and he essentially said that the feeling that the free essence has is in the end the same feeling that the Being has. This is because he says that the essence comes from the human soul and the human soul comes from Atman, and Atman comes from Kether the Father (the top of our Being in creation or manifestation) who is in secret within us.

When we Stop Lust

When we stop lust we have the sexual energy at our disposal and at our availability to be used by our consciousness ‘to be’. That is to be used for our Being to make our Being in us more powerful and more and more present in us.

When we fornicate or lose the sexual energy we lose the Being and ‘being’, we lose our identity, our power ‘to be’ goes. This is so easily known by many Gnostics when the unfortunate situation occurs that the sexual energy has been involuntarily lost.

Conclusion

It is so very important to know that we are the essence and that we are the Being. We have to know this, we have to experience it because it really helps us immensely to really and truly understand what non-identification is and therefore it helps us in our awakening and it also helps us in our mystical death. It is a crucial and critical element that we must acquire as soon as possible!

End.

Mystical Death and Definition

Before we Die we have to Define Ourselves

A large part of mystical death is definition. We have to be decided or defined to first of all to die in ourselves or in a particular ego before we can advance in our mystical death.

Definition Takes Work

To get to the point of being defined to die in an ego is very difficult. It takes work, actually depending on the size of the ego, a very considerable amount of work may be needed.

To be Defined Equals Hypnotic Grip Broken or Loosened

To be decided and ready and wanting mystical death is really what one feels when one is defined to die. One no longer feels undecided, attached to the ego (no longer liking it), bored at the prospect of dissolving it, or afraid.

The hypnotic grip is the thing that keeps us attached to the ego and frankly not wanting yet wanting to die in the ego. In that state of wanting and not wanting, we end up really doing nothing towards death, rather we really only end up giving into the ego more than dissolving it.

So when we are defined as mentioned in the first paragraph of this section we have certainly loosened greatly or even defeated the hypnotic grip of the ego.

How to Know You are Defined

Just as a side note, to know if you are defined or not this simple test never fails. If you are able to ask your Divine Mother to dissolve that ego completely and you only feel happy then that is certainly a good sign that you are defined. Also another test is that if you are able to promise the Divine Law to work on that ego in turn for its radical dissolution and you feel happy and relieved then you are defined.

Definition to Die is Crucial

To be defined is a very crucial stage in the elimination of any ego. We actually have to work to conquer that stage. I personally think that it is the hardest part of the battle. Once you have come this far the rest is like riding downhill.

IT can take a long time you know and to get it can cost one a lot of suffering and effort. I’ll tell you from experience it is essentially the repeated experience of pain of having that ego that brings one closer and closer to the point of definition.

Definition and Crisis

Sometimes to get to the point of definition we have to pass through a crisis where the pain of the ego becomes so strong and we naturally start to desire to eliminate it, however this desire clashes with the desire of the ego to continue living and this clash adds to the pain you already feel, and then you feel that you have no other option than to destroy that ego. You also feel in these crises that if you don’t eliminate that ego it will take you off the path and into degeneration or deeply into horizontal life.

Conclusion

There is a special point in the process of eliminating the ego called definition, and to eliminate any ego we all have to pass through this point.

To pass through this point takes work, even much suffering and time (maybe years). Even once you are there we can fall back into the ego and lose it. However, we can regain it, that is certain. Sometimes getting there and losing it is part of our particular process in dissolving that ego.

If it is very costly to get to the point of definition then that ego is karmic. Anyway we have to work to get to that point of definition, which is being fully ready and happy to have it eliminated.

To get to the point of definition, concentrate on renouncing the ego and when you propose your decision to renounce the ego it will struggle, resist, suffer, send you pain and fight like crazy. This is a very crucial moment because it will allow you to see why you can’t let go of it. It will expose its logic and if you defeat its logic you will break its hypnosis and define yourself to die in that ego.

End.

Impregnated By Mystical Death

Sometimes

Sometimes when we have not been working on our own mystical death for a while and we begin to work on it again we can feel that mystical death is something that is too hard and the mantra KRIM feels to have a negative burning effect on us (we feel that is harming us).

Lost the Vibration

We feel this because in the process of while having stopped the work of mystical death we lost the vibration or surrounding force of mystical death. When we work in mystical death we attract the forces of mystical death that are generated by our actions and practices, by our own Divine Mother and by Death herself.

Not Ready

When we have lost the vibration of mystical death or when those forces have abandoned us we are not really ready to die or we can not die mystically. We need first of all to get those forces to come back to us, by invoking them or by regenerating them.

Actually the best is a combination of the two, however the quality of our part determines the quality and quantity of the part of the other (Divine Mother and Death).

Regenerate the Forces of Mystical Death

To be ready for mystical death we have to be impregnated once again with death, that is with the forces of mystical death.

The best way to do this is to definitely and solidly decide and define yourself to die in an ego or more than ego or in all the egos. Invoke the Divine Mother, especially Hecate and pray to your Divine Mother telling her how much you want to die. Then truly, sincerely release/renounce the ego in your mind and heart and chant the mantra KRIM.

Reason Why we are Pendular in Mystical Death

It is very difficult to die if we are not impregnated with the forces of death. When we are not impregnated with the forces of death, mystical death feels to be too difficult to complete and we feel that we need a break or we can’t continue, so then we enter into a pendular like state, swinging to occasions where we don’t work in mystical death and then swinging to instances where we do work in mystical death.

When we are impregnated with mystical death we can work constantly in mystical death and it does us no harm, and the forces of death helps us to progress deeper and more expansively in our own mystical death.

Conclusion

Death is a force that can surround us and impregnate us, and it is a force that exists in the cosmos and fulfils the function of helping us in our mystical death. Even Death herself, the personification of that cosmic force can come to visit us and evaluate how our mystical death is progressing.

Just work in your mystical death honestly and sincerely giving your honest best, and death will come to support you. Please note, don’t be scared of Death because the values or merits of our mystical death will keep Death helping us mystically and not acting on us physically.

End.